Let's Get Together

Dear Joseph,

I really miss not seeing you. You are growing and learning so fast that when I do get to see you it is as if you are another person. I miss your smiles and laughing, and I miss your hugs. So, I am going to fly into Dayton on Friday, January16th. I will rent a car and drive to Cincinnati and visit with you and Mom and Dad for a few days. I will have to leave on Monday, so think about what you would like to do while I am there.

I hope to see you in a few weeks.

Papa loves you

Corner Pocket

Dear Joseph,

I was thinking to day how music has always been a big part of my life. I have learned to play all the instruments and was once pretty good on the trumpet. In fact, I played at the wedding of Aunt Tammy and Uncle Ben Weiss. By now, I am guessing that you know that there are lots of kinds of music.

There are slow love songs and waltzes and up beat jitter bugs. I taught your mom and Aunt Tammy to jitter bug dance when they were teenagers, and I have had many really wonderful times dancing with them. That kind of music is what we call swing music, and I think it has the best beat in the world. It really speaks to my heart, and it was always my favorite music to play.

Ever since you were able to stand up you would begin to move in a certain way when ever you heard music. I wonder if you will come to like it as much as I have. Perhaps one day soon Mom will go to U Tube and put on THE COUNT BASIE ORCHESTRA - CORNER POCKET. I'd love to see how you take to that. Hopefully, there will be times for us to listen to music together or go to hear live music like I used to do with your Mom.

Just remember 2 things: 1, It don't mean a thing if it ain't got that swing, and 2:

Papa loves you

Learn From Nature

Dear Joseph,

It is getting cold outside, and we will soon be seeing snow on the ground. When I was a little guy, I used to wonder what happened to all the animals during winter? Where did they sleep? How did they stay warm? Where did they get their food? Actually, I worried about them. After all, some of the squirrels and birds were born just a few months earlier. How could they know what to do?
A lot of young animals learn just by watching their parents and imitating what they do. You probably do a lot of that yourself. Like we humans, the parents will scold the little ones when they do something dangerous or wrong. They do not scold them to be mean, they do it so that the little ones will learn things that will keep them safe and warm as winter comes.

I hope you spend some of your time watching all this and the other things nature has to teach. Spending time watching clouds and how the weather changes; watching how the squirrels mix work and play; seeing how the trees and flowers bloom in spring and fade in winter; all these will teach you a lot about life and how to stay safe. Watching the animals can teach us a sense of being responsible for taking care of ourselves so that we don't have to rely on others. Watching the parents gathering food and feeding their little ones teaches us to nurture one another and to help those who need our help.

I believe that fast cars, houses with closed windows and heat and air conditioners, staying inside too much and a lot of other things about the way we live has separated us too much from Mother Nature. She has a lot to teach us. Watching her and the animals and the plants can open up a world of rich beauty and knowledge that you cannot learn in school.

I hope life will allow us the opportunity to sit in a field and just watch together. I hope there will be time enough for us to sit in a boat or a kayak and feel the power of the water as we bob up and down (I will write more about this another time). I hope that we will have time to watch the clouds together and see how many pictures we can spot up in the sky. We shall see.

Papa loves you.

Work

Dear Joseph,

I am sorry I haven't written lately. I have been concerned with work. I know, I am retired, but I would like to be useful and wouldn't mind earning a bit of money. Being 67 years old and away from medicine for a while, it is hard for me to find something for which I am comfortable and can do well.

Work is an interesting thing, even for you at such a young age. What it means for you now is that Dad is often away, and I know how you and Mom miss him. Why does he do that? Because he loves you and is willing to work hard to provide you with the important things in life. That's why most dad's and mom's work, for the sake of their children and themselves. He also does it out of self respect. He wants to take care of the things in his life because he feels that is his responsibility.

Interestlingly, half of the people in our country are unhappy at work. Some don't think they are paid enough and some don't like their bosses or coworkers. Since you (like myself) will spend most of your adult life at work, it is most important that you find work that you love. Sure, you need to get a fair salary and decent treatment, but it is still the work that matters.

For me, I used several things to decide on what I wanted to be when I grew up. First, I had to be interested in what I was doing it. There is nothing wrong with digging ditches for a living...if digging ditches is satisfying work for you. Next, I wanted to do work that mattered. Although all work matters, my work had to matter to me. If I would have become a car salesman and made a million dollars from it, it would not have felt as if I had done something that mattered, something that mattered to me and the rest of the world.

It is also important to be proud of what you do. Earning a lot of money by dishonest means is, in my judgment, shaming and damaging to the soul. It doesn't matter what you do as long as you do it the best you can. If you are going to be a dish washer, be a good dish washer and earn your money. And don't be ashamed of what ever you do, even if others judge it to be a lowly job. All work is good work.

Men in our society generally identify themselves by the work they do. They will meet you and say, "I am in sales," or some such thing. To them selves, they are salesmen. I am a doctor, but a doctor is not who I am. Who I happen to be, my values and beliefs, would be the same if I was a carpenter. The same is true for you, Joseph. First learn who you are, what your soul needs and what your vision for yourself in this world will be. That is and will always be who you are. Then seek work that fulfills that vision, and be proud of yourself for doing so.

Papa loves you.

Let's Talk About It

Dear Joseph,

It is September of 2008, and you are beginning to say your first words. Half the time only you know what you are trying to say, but that will get better rather quickly. In fact, you will probably be making sentences by the end of the year. So, why does Papa take time to talk with you about this?

As you get older, much of your success, much of how the world perceives you and much of your ability to get things done will depend on your ability to express yourself clearly. When a man can explain things in a way that others can easily understand, he will have more success and others will seek him out for help. In addition, he will be a natural teacher.Too many people say stuff without realizing how ambiguous they are being and how much conflict that can cause. So, how do you become a good communicator? How do you learn to put the right words together in order to make yourself easily understandable to others?

First, you listen in school and learn basic grammar. Most complex problems start when someone screws up something basic. Learn grammar. Then practice. Explain in clear and simple terms why Dad should let you have the car on Saturday evenings. Be precise when you point out to Mom the futility of wasting time to make a bed that you will be sleeping in again in just a few hours.

Seriously, though, read, read, read. Read fiction and see how authors hold you spell bound and draw you into their stories. Read political columns to see how those writers use words and phrases to convince you that their point of view is correct. And, all this time, question what others write. Something may be written well but be totally wrong. That requires judgment on your part and that is a topic for another letter.

Papa loves you (and that's why he writes this stuff)

Hail to the Mouse

Dear Joseph,

You just went with the family to Disney World in Florida to celebrate Grandma Linda's birthday. I know you don't remember the trip because you were 14 months old at the time. You were a handful and exhausted all of us.

Four generations of the family were there including Bubbie, your mom and dad, Aunt Tammy, Uncle Ben Weise (some day someone will explain why that is funny), Grandma Linda, Papa, Aunt Robin and Uncle Henry. We all flew there and back on airplanes.

As you will know by time you can read this, Disney is a fantastic place with all sorts of rides. You, however, went on no rides but, rather, entertained yourself by running through all the water spouts and climbing on everything you could find. The only time you were quiet (for ten whole minutes) was when I was holding you and you were listening and watching the Japanese drummers. Seems like you like music and rhythms of all kinds.

Although you don't remember the trip, the rest of us do. It was important to us because we all could get together and because you were there. I am sure mom and dad will have pictures to show you. My hope is that I can be around to do some of these things with you when you are at an age at which you can enjoy them...and remember them. That's what families do.

Papa loves you.

A Gift

Dear Joseph,

Papa has a gift for you. I brought it home from my trip up north where I was camping and kayaking. It is not a gift like a toy, so I will give it to you when you are old enough to understand its meaning. If I am not able to give it to you when that time comes, it will be among my things in an envelope labeled a stone for Joseph. Why a stone?

I an active in a men's group which has adopted many Native American practices. The Indians who originally inhabited this country held sweat lodges (more on this another time) in which water is poured on hot rocks to produce steam. Because the stones/rocks are so old, they/we refer to them as the ancient ones or grandfathers.

When a man travels away from home he sometimes collects a stone from the beaches or water of that area to bring back as a gift. A Native American told me that stones know how to get you to pick them up, carry them to where they want to be and, when they tire of you, make you put them in a new place.

I gathered this stone specifically for you. It comes from the cold waters of Lake Superior or, as the Native Americans named her, Gitchee Gumee. Within the stone is the energy of its place of origin and is a connection between its holder and the place from which it comes. Giving it to you makes it a connection between you and me.

You may keep the stone as long as you like, toss it somewhere or pass it on to someone you wish to have it. I only ask that what ever you do with it that you do so with intention. I hope we will have time to talk about this more one day.

Papa loves you